We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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