Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize