we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
