Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize