I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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