another moral hangover. fuck.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize