so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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