Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
accomplished twins. life is a go
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
tell me about the eggs
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
