I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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