This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Well I just put wine in my tea
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize