hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
