so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
