I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
3 2 1 whiskey
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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