Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I enjoy the company of your penis
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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