I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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