You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
