If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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