Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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