She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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