Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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