Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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