we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
