At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
