Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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