Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize