I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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