Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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