DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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