I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize