Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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