Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
