I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
