she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
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