it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize