Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
