He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
