Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
