white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
