god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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