yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
