Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
