As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
