A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
