When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
