If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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