dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
