Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
