It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
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