I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Randomize
