I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
