Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I stole a fireplace last night.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
