I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
