That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
