Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
