oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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