I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
