You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
