my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
