Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
