She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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