help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Enjoy the penises
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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