fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
how does that bad decision feel?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
