youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
