were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
