No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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