So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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