Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
