OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
