What a fucking waste of an outfit
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize