He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
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