I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
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