AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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