Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
