My brain says no but my pants say off.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
