Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
