How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
