every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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