I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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