nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
